It's hard to believe my son is now in double digits, and Chris and I have been working through our roles as parents for a decade now. When I look way back in the rearview mirror, I see two excited, anxious, naive parents holding a squirmy little bundle. Two parents who had a pretty good idea of what they wanted for their children but didn't know how to do it. Two parents who were the first of their friends to have a baby, and felt too overwhelmed with the plethora of how-to parent books to dig in and do the research for a method that resonated best.
They feared the damage or harm that could inadvertently fall on that precious little one due to their lack of experience. I wonder sometimes if our cautious boy was wired to be cautious or if it came about due to all his parents' fears or their sometimes unrealistic expectations.
We've stumbled and bumbled our way through the last ten years. There were times where we've made what felt like big mistakes. There were other times where we've thought we've aced handling a sensitive situation. There have been too many times where we've looked back and wished that we knew then what we know now. But we are feeling more comfortable with where we're headed, despite the unknowns on the horizon which are inherent with a firstborn babe.
And here we are. Ten years later. Nicholas is a boy who gets passionately engaged in those topics that interest him most. He loves learning and sharing facts with anyone and everyone. He is comfortable in his own skin. He is kind and caring, especially for his littlest sister.
As I write this, my son is playing blackjack with a friend who is sleeping over tonight. He is smiling, laughing and happy. Yes, this is what we wanted for our Nicholas.