Simplicity

Over the past several weeks, I've been fantasizing about simplicity and what it would feel like if we ever mastered the art of simplicity.  A kitchen island I would always be able to see the top of.  A strong and steady routine to guide our days.  Plenty of free, unstructured time for young and old(er) alike.  Children free to just be children, without the cares of the adult world.

Today, I stumbled upon a little ecourse advertised on Amanda Blake Soule's website.  It is for a Simplicity Parenting Virtual Workshop, courtesy of Kathy Stowell at Bliss Beyond Naptime.  Her workshop is based on the book Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne.  And while my husband and I are still talking about whether we will dive in and do the workshop, it was a good reminder to dust off the cover and re-read that gem of a book.

After being reminded of the book today, I took some time to consider what our days are filled with and whether they align to the principles discussed in Simplicity Parenting.  There are some things I've already set up that I'm comfortable with, like developing a routine so that our children know what to expect in their day and their week.  So far, a typical day looks like this:

  ~ Wake up and get ready to face the day
  ~ Story
  ~ Hands-on time, where there is time to explore, discover and play
  ~ Lunch time
  ~ Bookwork
  ~ Free time
  ~ Supper time
  ~ Clean up, wind-down and bedtime

There is also routine within the week itself.  We have a family meeting once a week to chat about the week ahead, particularly for the hands-on time in the morning.  We strive to have one day in the week (we've selected the traditional Sunday), that is a free day for everyone in the family to do what he or she chooses.  We aim to balance taking care of family work with taking care of the family's soul during our week.

Perhaps we will put the routine under the lens of a microscope someday, but right now there are other obvious areas in our home life that could use some more work.  Like finishing that massive purge and putting expectations in place so that major purges don't need to be so time-consuming.  I must confess, I cringe at going to work on my son's room.  But once it's done, and if it's done well, he should be able to manage it himself going forward, like my daughter has.

Another area we'll target is overbooking our family calendar.  While we've done well this summer, I wonder if we've overdone the fall activities, and how big the impact will be on that precious free time we've carved out of the day.  On paper, our activities look do-able, but we don't really seem to grasp how big an impact they'll have on our daily life until we're actually living it.

In the meantime, I'll revisit the book and pull out some new insights that perhaps I missed the first time.

A week in pictures

A little late this time, due to date night last night!

Creating art

The view on our nature hike

Cutting out the pattern for a felt fairy

Making sausage with Grandpa and Uncle

Little diva

Cloudy skies

When I checked on our community garden early one morning this week, it was eerily quiet, and there was a feeling in the air that the garden season would be coming to a close soon.  Tonight when we arrived at the garden, we saw more activity than we had in weeks.  Our fellow gardeners were covering their remaining plants and picking what would ripen in cold rooms.  While the forecast didn't say there was a chance of frost, we could sense the temperature was cooler at the community garden than at our home, less than a kilometer away, and that those experienced ones likely knew what I had sensed earlier - it wouldn't be long now until another gardening year, and summer, would be over.

As I reflect on tonight, it struck me that all of today had a melancholy feeling to it.  Best laid plans that didn't quite work out.  A trip to the Science Centre, only to find out the Centre was closed for maintenance - an unknown to us, even after checking the website for its hours.  Children who struggled through their exercises this afternoon.  A little one who wouldn't nap and is in the depths of a boycott against vegetables and meat.  Our own scurrying around to try and prolong the garden just a bit longer.

Like all cloudy skies though, sun does make it's way through every now and again, and I'm reminded that life is much sweeter when looking for those moments, however fleeting they are.  Like seeing Nicholas tear down the street on his Rollerblades when just minutes before he looked teetery and walked more than skated.  He and I learning about chickens and having a good laugh at the end of our quiet time work.  Enjoying the lush greenness of the jalapenos we picked tonight.  Enjoying the smell of the tomato leaves as we covered the plants up.  No matter what happened today or what happens tonight, tomorrow will come.  We'll have a whole new set of experiences that I know won't be limited by today. 

Writing motivation

The bookwork we're doing here during quiet time consists of the traditional 3 R's...reading, writing and 'rithmetic.  And honestly, I don't think the children even consider the reading aspect school, as it was so engrained in our lives before homeschooling.

I've mentioned in the past that writing is not one of my son's favorite things to do.  He tends to share his ideas verbally and wishes that others record them for him.  So, while we wil talk about what he's written during our quiet time, I'm not going to push him too hard in his writing exercises just yet.  I don't want to turn him off the idea of recording all those grand ideas of his.

Enter another motivator for writing.  During our great purge, I noticed that we had eight sleeping bags, but only five bodies in this house to fill them.  My son won two of those sleeping bags in a reading contest.  So they really weren't mine to give away.  I quietly saddled up to him and explained the situation, suggested we sell them, and that the money made would be his. 

It didn't take long for him to be ready to post them online - quite frankly, money is a motivator for him.  As we sidled up to the computer, I suggested he research how much they sell for new, so that he wasn't charging more.  This meant he needed to type up an Internet search and compare what his bags' specs were to what was out there.  My second suggestion was that he consider the information that a buyer might think was important when writing up his post.  This meant stuff like the size of the sleeping bag, the temperature it's rated for, what it was filled with...

He groaned at first.  "Oh Mom.  There's so much stuff to write and so many strange symbols.  It will take me forever.  Can't you type it?"

My response came quick.  "If it takes you even an hour to write it up and you sell the bags, you will have made $20 in one hour.  There are many people in this world that would love to make $20 in an hour."  Enough said.  After some guidance as to where to find those symbols and a quick proofread, he had his sleeping bags posted in less than 30 minutes.  And then one of his toy sets came down and he researched and posted it too.  Pretty good for a reluctant writer.

I'm noticing that my son's explosions of voluntary writing tend to come when he is on the computer.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.  I do respect the role that technology and computers play in today's society - things are more efficient, can be more structured, and can be more accurate.  I wonder about the relevancy of teaching handwriting given that the future looks like it will rely more and more on touchscreens or voice-recorded documents. 

I also think computers tend to increase the pace of life while simultaneously offering little physical activity.  I also wonder if the sense of obligation to always be connected impacts one's ability to focus or appreciate what nature has to offer.  I've also read that computer writing tends to jump-start the side of the brain responsible for logic and organization, whereas writing the old-fashioned way sparks the side responsible for creativity.  For myself, I rarely grab a pen and paper before sitting down to write this blog.  But I've also thought about what I would write before actually sitting down, and I've spent years doing rough drafts or outlines on paper before diving in to articulate my thoughts in either medium.  I'll turn to paper time and again when I get stuck or need to figure out how to succinctly write something. 

Regardless of my personal opinions of computers and technology, it all comes back to what works for my children.  I've observed enough to understand that what my son needs is for his efforts to be acknowledged as they come.  Pushing any medium or more than 10 minutes of writing will likely have the opposite effect of what I had hoped.  And only if I'm asked for help in the creative writing realm, I'll offer what I have.

How does it feel?

Despite the last day we acknowledged more than two months ago, and that first day we celebrated shortly after, today still had a vibe to it.  Perhaps it was perusing the Facebook posts last night of friends whose little ones were all packed up and ready to go.  Perhaps it was hearing the school buses careening around the neighbourhood.  Perhaps it was walking into the local school supply sections of the stores and seeing that it looked like a bomb had been dropped.  Perhaps it was all this that sent my mind back to all those first days where I was the one walking out the door and off into the world.

And then I felt this weird feeling as we emerged from our house shortly after 9:00.  What would people think if they saw my kids not in school?  This feeling was definitely non-existent during the summer, when it could be expected for three children to be with their mother in the middle of the day.  Now it feels as if we stand out in a crowd a bit.  That we're larger targets for curious questions or unsupportive comments. 

Try as I might to squelch the feeling, there is a part of me that fears being judged or labeled.  I don't know why I care what other people think.  I know the fear isn't strong enough to stop us from our field trips - indeed another one is planned for tomorrow in a more visible setting than today's.  And I'm sure the feeling will subside with time, and get more comfortable on this path we've chosen.  The unknown always has an element of scariness, doesn't it?  This is something new for us, and the learning curve is steep, and I'm sure it is like all new things - they get easier with time.

And how was today?  It was a success by my measuring sticks.  A field trip in the morning to a nearby nature refuge.  Listening to the birds, spotting a blue heron flying over the creek, checking out the crickets to discover if they were male or female, having robins flitting around our heads.  A short afternoon of reading and writing and math.  The children surprised to find there really is free time for them to choose what they will do next.  Diving into the watercolours!  Playing a game!  I'm even writing this post as supper cooks, instead of in the late hours of the evening!  Sweet!

Preparing for tomorrow

Tomorrow, children in our neck of the woods head back to school.  While my husband and I knew it, I was surprised when my son mentioned it too.  I asked him how he was feeling about not going back to school, and he replied that he was happy he would be home tomorrow.

Around us, however, was disarray.  It's felt like this since we returned, and I felt it even more acutely when we picked up supplies from the school board office and I found myself wondering just where we would put 12" x 18" paper.  And where all our scissors had wandered off to.  And how had we come to own so many crayons?!?

So, my mind started painting a picture of my dream studio.  This would be a place where I picture us spending much time, particularly quiet afternoons while our littlest one naps.  I see knitting and sewing and crafts all happening in this room.  Games of chess and writing and doing puzzles.  Reading, reading and more reading.  A clean, bright, organized place where minds can be focused on the task at hand, even if that task is daydreaming.  Where experiments and projects can be dove into straight away because everything needed to do it can be found easily.  Sigh.

This dream studio would be in our basement.  The basement is, well, a disaster.  So the purge started.  And soon, it moved out to the garage, because there is a table out there that is sturdy enough to withstand kids, it's large enough for us all to fit around when following our individual creative pursuits, it's attractive enough to be indoors, but not so pretty that it can't get a little paint spilled on it accidentally.  That table had gardening stuff and sports equipment and toboggans (yes, toboggans!) on it. 

The garage purge is almost done (thankfully).  A little area in the basement is finished.  And the studio won't be ready by tomorrow.  But that's okay - things are looking better.  Our workspace will be at our kitchen table, and our supplies will be kept an arms length away at our buffet.  I feel more organized now.  Pens, markers, crayons, erasers, scissors, and more have a home.  Workbooks have been prepared for Nicholas and Jaelyn to work on during those quiet afternoons.  We've talked about what our week will look like so that it is balanced.

I'm sure that after a good night's rest, we will all be excited to live out tomorrow.

Allowance day

Today is allowance day, and I'm reminded of when my daughter was first learning about money.  She was having a difficult time remembering how much different coins were worth, and couldn't remember how many quarters made a dollar.  So, we pulled ideas from different teaching methodologies to help her out.

First, I planned an activity based on the Montessori methodology.  Jaelyn and I found a quiet corner.  I pulled out one of each coin, named it, pointed to the picture on the "tail" of the coin, and the amount.  She held each coin and repeated the name an amount.  Then, we played a silly little game, where I would ask her to put the coins in different places - say a penny in a shoe, a nickel under a mat, a dime by a door and a quarter on a table.  After that, I would ask her to move the coins to different places, in random order.  So, she would need to remember the name of the coin and where she put it.  Once we had ran out of places to put coins, we huddled together again and I asked her to name each coin for me.  This stuck.

To help her learn the number of quarters to make a dollar, I turned to the Waldorf methodology.  I thought that if I could make up a story that would be relevant and interesting, it might click for her.  I remember laying awake in bed one night coming up with this story.  When it was allowance day, I gathered up four quarters and a dollar, as used them as props.  To understand the story, it might help to understand what our coins look like.  A quarter has a caribou on it, and our dollar is a gold-coloured coin. 

The Four Caribou Herders, original version

Once upon a time, there was a lone caribou herder living far north in the frozen tundra.  He had a herd of 25 caribou (point to the caribou and the number 25 on the coin).  He would always make sure that his herd had enough to eat, so he was always needing to wander the north looking for more food.  Because he was always moving to different places, it was hard to make friends.

But one day, as he was moving his herd, he met another caribou herder!  They were both glad to meet someone else!  They chatted for awhile and really enjoyed one another's company.  The second caribou herder had 25 caribou in his herd too (point to the caribou and the number 25 on the coin).  The first caribou herder said, "Would you like to travel with me?  I've been so lonely and I really like having someone else to talk to."  The second caribou herder agreed, and the first herd of 25 and the second herd of 25 became 50 (bring the two coins together into one hand, representing that they are the same herd).

The two caribou herders and their herd of 50 roamed the tundra, and as they roamed, they talked and shared stories.  One day, they met another caribou herder!  He had 25 caribou in his herd (point to the caribou and the number 25 on the coin).  He was moving his herd to a place that only his family knew about, because there was much for the herd to eat there.  He invited the other two caribou herders to join him, for he liked their company.  So the 50 caribou joined the 25 caribou and they became a larger herd of 75 (bring the three coins together in one hand). 

The 3 caribou herders and their herd of 75 followed inuktuks (rock formations laid by Inuit people) until they came to a valley that had enough food for the herd.  They lingered in this spot for many days, and the three caribou herders told stories by the fire and laughed lots.  They enjoyed being together.  Eventually, the caribou needed to move on to more food, so they packed up camp and set out to find more food.  As they came out of the valley, the met a fourth caribou herder, and he too had a herd of 25 (point to the caribou and the number on the coin).  When he heard about how the caribou herders helped one another, he asked to join them.  And they agreed heartily.  The 25 caribou joined the 75 caribou and they became one large herd of 100 caribou.

Eventually, the Queen heard the story of the 4 caribou herders who helped each other out, and their herd of 100 caribou.  She asked to meet them.  When they met, she gave each of them a gold coin (show the gold coin) to celebrate how they shared and helped one another.  She told them, `The gold coin is worth 100 cents - 1 cent for every caribou in your herd.  But 100 cents sounds funny, so when you hold this coin, you can also call it 1 dollar.

The end. 

I haven`t told that story to Jaelyn for some time.  I was reminded of it today, though, so I asked her to retell it, just to see what she remembered.  Here`s what she told me:

The Four Caribou Herders, as retold by Jaelyn

Once there was a caribou herder going along.  There were 25 caribou in his herd.  He was walking along and he found another caribou herder.  And then they started talking and one said, "Why don't we go together."

And the other one said, "Sure".  And then they had 50 caribou.

And they were walking along and the caribou were eating and then another caribou herder came along.  And so they said, "How about we get together?"

And the other one said, "Sure".  So they went together and he also said, `I know where to go to get food for our caribou`.  So they went along.  There were 75 caribou in their herd.

And so they were eating and walking along and then another caribou herder came along.  And so they all three said, `how about you come with us?  We know where to go.` 

So he said, `Sure I'll come along`.  And how many caribou were in the herd?  100.

Then the queen called them over and they came over and she said, "Because you were being so generous by letting people into the herd, and you have lots of caribou and were sharing, you deserve having a gold coin, which is a dollar.  Instead of saying 100 cents, you can call it a dollar."

The end.