Turning a mountain into a molehill.

Many of our spaces are in need of a purge.  There's messy build-up in pockets, corners, and rooms.  In an attempt to just get a couple of spaces to the point that I could walk into them without cringing, I simply dumped what I could find into laundry baskets or totes and hauled them to my room, with good intentions to get through them in peace and without a little one wandering in and inspecting every item that was in the recycle/toss and giveaway piles. 

For the most part, it worked.  Except that there is now more messy build-up in my room.  Clothes that no longer fit, or need to be mended, or moved to the next stage of their lives (think pants that will now be shorts due to the holes in the knees), were piled on the chest at the foot of my bed.  I was feeling that exasperated, cringe-like feeling every time I entered my room now!  It turns out there is no escape from it unless it is dealt with once and for all.

So a couple of hours were spent with my sewing machine to reduce the mountainous pile down to a manageable molehill.  I think I put together a pretty well-rounded summer wardrobe for my older two, who now have an abundance of shorts. 

And what to do with the cut-off legs below the hole?  It turns out they are the perfect size for most of the panels in the Indi-go bag pattern that is in Reinvention:  Sewing with Rescued Materials.  My pile of jeans is now down to this:

Ahhh, now a wee bit more room for clarity!

Two birds with one stone

I wasn't planning on sharing this little 20 minute adventure, as it isn't a pretty one, really.  It's quite filled with grime and messy build-up actually. 

I've been on a simplifying adventure.  I've been working on little pockets here and there - the mudroom, the storage closet that holds our luggage and children's clothes waiting to be handed down to the next little one, the dress-up bin, the pantry, the door of the refrigerator.  Well, now that I look at the list, most of them took quite a bit of time.  But they look and feel so much better now!  Anyway, my task has been to get rid of the stuff that is no longer needed or no longer fits with our lifestyle choices, then organize what's left.  It meant that we reduced the number of mitts and hats to choose from in the mudroom, that all the bulk goods in bags were moved into jars in the pantry, and that the boxes with the children's clothes have been sorted through so that only a reasonable amount of clothes remain.

Today's quick project was underneath my kitchen sink.  It's definitely not a glamorous spot that will receive a lot of attention, but my reason for cleaning it out had nothing to do with the mess or grime that was under there.

You see, we have a weekly chore day.  On one afternoon a week, Tuesdays this winter, all of us do some sort of chore.  Vacuuming and cleaning the bathrooms are always on the list and Nicholas and Jaelyn alternate doing these.  I'm available to help, if it's needed, but I also do chores, whether it is folding laundry or doing dishes, or de-cluttering a corner.  What I discovered was that the person responsible for cleaning the bathrooms would inevitably disappear, citing that I hadn't gathered the cleaning supplies fast enough.  During a moment of clarity, I realized there is no need for me to keep the cleaning supplies up high because Astrin never was into eating or drinking our cleaning supplies.  As she watched me fanatically scrubbing the cabinet and we talked, it became clear the thought of chowing down on the stuff under the sink had never even crossed her mind.  And the cleaning supplies are baking soda and vinegar.  The same stuff we put in our baking and our pickles.  I think we're safe.

So, my quest for an accessible and logical place for the cleaning supplies led me to under the kitchen sink.  Here's kind of what it looked like before, once I pulled all the empty jars out (which I intended to use for pouring grease into - did I really think I would need that many?).  I couldn't get too close, as I didn't want to immortalize the mess under there!

And here's what it looks like now.  Minimal.  Accessible.  Simple. 

Today's learnings

There was an ease that came with today...it was easy to smile, easy to work, easy to play.  I'm hopeful getting rid of some psychological baggage did the trick.  With its weight lifted off me, I found it easier to embrace the challenges as opportunities to learn and to look for solutions when conflict is wiggling its way into our day.

And I have had some aha moments I'd like to take the time to capture for future reference.  In no particular order...

...sometimes it is beneficial to print our recipes from the internet.  Like when you are preparing a Chinese New Year feast and the website you found with easy but authentic recipes is having technical difficulties.  Chalk it up to another opportunity to practice agility!

...when planning a cooking activity for a group to do, it really is okay to plan which person will do each part of the recipe.  In hindsight, this seems like a no-brainer.  But now I know for sure.  Plan out every little detail.  The experience will be a lot smoother.

...our minds are extremely powerful and one simple bend in our perspective can make enormous changes.  An exercise I participated in today was finding a way to balance two seemingly opposing forces.  Like, say, balancing the desire for an organized house with the desire for relaxed, playful experiences with one's children.  The trick is to literally have the "organized" part of yourself ask the "playful" part of yourself to share ideas of how to make "organized" more playful.  My playful side told me that singing and playing games during tidy-up time would be fun.  

...feeling a craving to be hooked up to social media is my mind's way of saying it's time to get out and be with people again.  The wheels are in motion to be line up a few skiing dates over the next couple of weekends. 

Yes, it's true that we never stop learning.  I'm grateful to have this lovely little space to capture some of the lessons life has fired my way.

A weight is lifted

I've found myself in a rut since writing about my aspirations for my children.  The intent of the exercise was to focus on what I wanted them to become over the long-term so that I could consider what they need from me today in order to grow into their future selves.  Once I truly understood this, I could focus my efforts and time to making it happen.  I would have a blueprint that I could lay my actions against and see whether they were in line or distracting me from my goals.

As I got to the end of my post, the thought dawned on me that I would need to model the behaviours I wanted them to develop.  After I looked over the picture I'd painted, I felt painfully ill-equipped to deliver on it.

Which then got me to scrutinizing some issues I've struggled with for years.  Was I turning into a parent that insisted on perfection?  As the years passed and my children showed no signs of developing one of the traits I wished for them, would my frustration and feelings of failure (in myself) lead them away from becoming confident individuals?  Then the nature versus nurture arguments started...Given their own innate personalities, was writing my wish list in the first place setting them up for failure?  Were they already pre-wired beyond my control? 

And how do I model confidence when I'm not feeling that confident myself?  How do I teach kindness when my eyes clearly flash red in the heat of an angry moment?  How do I model creativity when my creative hours are when they are in bed?  I was feeling like I needed to be one hundred percent "on" all the time, and the enormous pressure was weighing heavily on me.  It simply wasn't sustainable.  It felt like I was one-dimensional.

As I get all this pent-up angst out of my system, clarity and solutions start to unfold before me.  Every time I strive to model certain behaviours or values and fail, I have an opportunity to model perseverance and humility.  I get to model that this life is a journey and that while our bodies may stop growing, our minds and spirits are often blessed with miles of open space for growth.  I remind myself that while I am an important teacher in my children's lives, I'm not the only one.  Surrounding myself with others that hold the same values dear will help model those values through their actions.  Having their presence in my children's lives will support me when I fall short.  I need to keep reminding myself it truly takes a village to raise a child!

As the layers of pressure of the past week melt away and the insecurities are seen for what they really are, I find us in a playful place.  Where I can wrestle with Nicholas, and he's happy for the silly attention.  Where I can bestow compliments and warmth on Jaelyn as I hold her in my arms and her eyes shine with joy.  Where I can sink Astrin into fits of giggles with tickle kisses.  Somehow, they must sense when the pressure is lifting off me - us, in fact - and when we can immerse one another in the best kind of love and attention.

About that list for the week...

There must be some sort of mischievous spirit who lurks around to-do lists, or napkins where the plans for the week or month or year are hastily scrawled down, or in the hidden wires of cyber space where bloggers share with optimism what they are hoping for in the days to come.

And it is here that cunning spirit delights in wreaking havoc.  Maybe adding a few things to the list in invisible ink that will magically appear when it's least convenient or expected.  Maybe shaking up said list so that it is indecipherable.  Or hiding the list so it can't be found when it's needed, whether the need is focus, inspiration or something else.

I know intellectually that my follow-through on Monday's list of aspirations has only to do with myself...that I've allowed myself to be side-tracked and diverted from the list of things I had hoped to accomplish this week.  There is really no one out there plotting against me, willing me to fail.  As I look back on that list, only made two days ago, I see that I've actually accomplished quite a bit of it.  And more, as I prepare to facilitate a staycation trip to China and also plan a Chinese New Year's feast here for family.  Oh, and spending time taking pictures and writing up ads to sell a few items we don't need anymore.  And trying to organize a friend and family get-together when we go on vacation.

What's weighing heavily on me are the two things that were on that list for me and me alone...taking a bit of time in the morning to do yoga and sewing a shirt for myself.  Oh, and while my kids have been outside, I haven't found time to get out myself.  Why should these things be so difficult to do when I'll be the one who will benefit from them?

When I peel back all the layers...the excuses, the blame, the defensiveness...I think the source of the foot-dragging is that I feel it will be hard.  It will be hard to reach down and see I can no longer touch my toes or hang out in downward dog comfortably.  It will be hard to try to sew a finicky knit shirt with a technique I've never tried before.  It's hard to make the effort to go outside into the dark night after everyone has gone to bed when it's bright and warm inside.  Maybe "hard" isn't the right word...maybe it's more like fear that I won't succeed in the way I'm used to succeeding.  Maybe it's more like I'm selling out for the road that is more comfortable and not even batting an eyelash on the road that leads to the unknown...the road I'll never see if I don't try.

And it's here that I go through all my "push through it" reminders...I will do a better job taking care of the little ones who live here when I take care of myself...I am in the awesome position to lead my children by example, and I have the power to choose the example do I want them to see...there is much to be learned from a person's mistakes...

So long, mischievous spirit.  I see you for what you really are.

Starting slowly

We have such grand plans for this winter...learning about the scientific process and putting together an experiment of our own using the bird feeders we're watching religiously...discovering the world of wolves...exploring the world (or just the city parks) on cross-country skis...stay-cationing in a few new-to-us countries to name a few.  Plus there are the usual suspects for this time of year...sending out thank-you notes, dreaming up next year's garden, planning for birthday parties and winter vacations.  All good stuff that we're very eager to dive into.

I learned from the fall, however, to start slow.  So this week is planned to be a week of transitions.  I'm easing us into earlier bedtimes and earlier wake-up times.  I'm reasserting a weekly and daily routine to guide our days.  Our mornings are set aside for school work and our afternoons are meant for learning away from books.  Monday and Thursday afternoons are dedicated to project time, Tuesdays are our chore and Club afternoons, Wednesdays will be our homeschool co-op, and we round out the week with Field Trip Fridays.  Our morning and afternoon is broken up by a trip outdoors, even in cold weather.

Two days in and some of our transition has been hit or miss, which I knew to expect.  I think the kids were happy to get back to their schoolwork.  Jaelyn was so eager to get back to it she pulled out her math book on Sunday and started working through problems.  And then chore day came and foot-dragging began.  Or a writing lesson surfaced and using the dictionary to find out whether words were spelled correctly was considered a most unreasonable strategy. 

I now realize that part of our transition has to do with my own relapse back to old habits.  Over the holidays, I fell away from using song to move us through our days.  No, song definitely does not feel natural and it takes an incredible amount of effort to remember words, melodies, and go through the physical act of singing through the day.  So my goal for the rest of the week will be to get reacquainted with those simple songs I still remember and learn a few more.  And while the kids are getting to bed earlier, I'm still up as late and struggling to be up in the morning before the kids, bleary-eyed and dull-headed when I do roll out of bed. 

Hmmm, I think that some of this list of things for me to improve is much like the one I wrote about in September.  Those old behaviours that are so ingrained in us are difficult to change.  Yet the reward for changing is worth it.  It's worth the effort to be the mama I want to be and model the way I would like my children to treat my grandchildren. 

The holiday that was

I hope you had a wonderful, peaceful, loving holiday season surrounded by those who matter most to you.

As we find ourselves on the other side of the Christmas season, I think today was the first day of returning to "normal".  Not that it feels normal yet in the least.  I'm not sure any of us know what day of the week it is yet, and our home is still in a messy, unsettled state.  There are things to be put away, furniture to re-arrange now that our Christmas tree is put away, and likely some purging as we consider the items we've lost interest in or grown out of to make way for the new things that entered our lives.

While I haven't spent a lot of time reflecting on the year that was, I have spent a wee bit of time thinking about Christmas 2013.  I'm happy to say that it feels like we got it right this year, after 10 plus years of trying to figure it out.  Yes, that fine balance between too much and not enough has been elusive, on all fronts - presents, food, activities, family, friends...while I know we weren't perfect, and I suspect that the unpredictability of life will continue to make perfection elusive (which is perhaps a good thing), it did a feel good holiday nonetheless.

Yes, now is a good time to sit back and think about what to replicate next year so that we can work to get it "just right" in future years.  Indeed, perhaps some holiday magic can stick around for those times when life feels a little too stressful, and we're in need of some tricks to rebalance ourselves. 

I know I spent a lot more time planning this year.  Yes, I made lists of presents to be handmade and purchased before we'd even celebrated Hallowe'en.  I made menus and grocery lists weeks before the meals would actually be prepared and served.  There were lists of things to be packed to take to activities.  And also dreams and plans for the traditions we wanted to create for our little ones.  Now that I write it down and see it on paper, it looks crazy, and perhaps it is.  In the end though, it allowed me to be out of the "what are we going to do" frozen feeling of panic and in the "this is the plan, let's get it done" mindset of action.

I think I also chose projects that were reasonable to complete.  While I think every year has an "opus" present (last year it was farmyard wall hangings with handmade animals for the littlest ones, this year it was the felted cloche for my sister-in-law), this year the projects were easy - knit hats, crocheted chainmail hoods, freezer-paper stenciled t-shirts (instructions in The Creative Family), pajama bottoms, a cowl (instructions in The Rhythm of Family), hand-dyed playsilks (instructions in the kindergarten curriculum at Lavender's Blue Homeschool).  They were all things that I could make in the evenings, or enlist help with (the t-shirts and the playsilks come to mind).  And the mantra of "reasonable" worked its way into everything we did.  Yes, we've done baking every year, but two types of cookies were reasonable for this year.  Yes, we've made gift baskets in the past, but this year most of the items were canned in the summer.  Yes, we've brought potluck items to family celebrations in the past, but this year we relied on the ease of the slow-cooker or brought pantry staples like pickles or made recipes with ingredients we could source straight from our cold storage or freezer - tasty, simple food.

I think the From Hectic to Harmonious Holiday Challenge helped to on a subtle level too.  It forced me to be intentional about not only how we chose to spent our time, but the quality of our time together.  It was a daily reminder that presence in the moment, with an air of calm lingering over our activities was far more important than what we actually did together.  It was a reminder to walk through the days with grace, and to share peaceful experiences with my children.  I think that on some level, doing the Challenge opened up the space for me to let things go.  I think I learned how to truly let things go - how to resolutely come to the conclusion something was not going to happen or was not worth doing and then not giving it another thought.

So, there you have it...four learnings that can be applied to every day and achieving balance when things can quickly spiral out of control.  Devise a plan in advance, make the plan reasonable, and know that how you execute the plan is just as important as the plan itself.  If something on the plan just isn't fitting, let it go, and all will be well.

And with that, I'll be working out a plan for what homeschooling will look like in our house this winter.  Happy 2014 everyone!

Is it feeling harmonious?

I find myself writing this in front of my fireplace...my toes toasty warm from the heat of the flames and the blanket-like slippers and socks I'm wearing....my heart warm from the visits with family and the joy we've joined together to create and share with others.

 

For yes, indeed, at 10 o'clock tonight, I found myself wondering what to do with myself.  Gifts made?  Check.  Gifts wrapped?  Some, but there's time to do the rest in the remaining days leading up to Christmas.  House cleaned?  Nope, but who wants to do that on such a lovely evening?  A cuddle with my love?  Yes, soon.

As I gaze at the fire, I find myself reflecting back on the week that was.  While there have been ups and downs, I can say that I'm feeling in a better place this year than last.  I let go of the expectation that I would follow the From Hectic to Harmonious Holiday Challenge to the letter this week, though I wanted to try my best to live in the spirit of it.  We had some celebrations that were planned months ago, like our Solstice celebration and several family gatherings, as well as some unexpected events, like saying goodbye to an extended family member, the acts of gathering and sharing with a homeless shelter, and what looked like the beginning of an ear infection with one of my little ones.  It was definitely a week of ups and downs.

Through it all, I found that we were able to offer ourselves - our time, our talents, our thoughts - with the emphasis on others.  My hope was that we were able to lighten the load and take care of some details so that others didn't have to.  We were able to be grounded but flexible.  And that was what I wanted to get out of the holiday challenge...I wanted to move away from the to-do lists and the manic rush to each day's deadline towards a more thoughtful, intentional, and peaceful holiday season.  Where the focus of the celebrations is more about the joy shared with others and authenticity than the actual items placed under the tree or on the table.  Where the spirit of "it's the thought that counts" can be found in every nook and cranny.

Day by day, as the holiday challenge emails arrived in my inbox announcing what would help me achieve that harmonious vibe I was after, I slipped it in my back pocket of activities to share when the time was right.  Building a snow fort turned into making a fort in the living room (day 21).  A solstice walk around the block (day 19) turned into walking to the corner and heading back, followed by a toasty fire and a warm bath infused with calming lavender oil.  Planning a vacation meal with my children (day 15) wove its way into a family meal, and shopping together for the ingredients happened at the last farmer's market of 2013 (day 16).  Making homemade cocoa (day 17) happened right after we arrived back from an extended family snowshoeing walk (day 18). 

  

 

 

So, in a nutshell...yes, it is feeling harmonious here.

I'll be away from the space for the next bit.  I hope all enjoy their holiday festivities, and have the ones you love best close in your heart.  Peace, light, and joy to you all!

The weekly From Hectic to Harmonious catch-up

I haven't written specifically about the From Hectic to Harmonious challenges I've been completing, even though I have been doing them faithfully, or just not mentioning that what I was doing related to the challenge.  I'm finding that even though I would never in a million years say that we live in a zen household, or that we live in harmony, I think I've received proof that we live simply.  I've found that as the challenges have made their way to my inbox and I've looked them over, I've been saying to myself..."We did that yesterday!" or "Isn't it a coincidence that we planned to do that today!"  Now I'm trying to wrap my brain around the realization that all this simple living stuff seems to take a tremendous amount of effort.  Not that the effort doesn't have a soul-satisfying reward at the end.  But it's effort, and when it becomes a series of "to-do's" and a deadline is fast approaching, it takes on a hectic vibe.

For any of you who were interested in the actual challenges, here's what they were:

  ~ Day 9 :: Make something beautiful.  I blogged about our crafting here.

  ~ Day 10 :: Sing something beautiful.  We gathered for a short while around the piano.  I stumbled my way through playing some tunes while trying to sing them at the same time.  My little ones sang for a song or two then decided to read a book nearby.  That's the way it goes here.  I can say I felt filled up after playing The Christmas Song - my all-time favorite.

  ~ Day 11 :: Write something beautiful.  I blogged about it here and there was also some magical writing here.

  ~ Day 12 :: Make your giving wish list.  My son saw a gentleman riding his bike through the snow-filled alleys while balancing large plastic bags.  He was hunting through recycling bins for pop bottles to take back for a refund.  The next day my son was baking cookies to take to the homeless shelter, along with some winter clothes we plan to round up.  That son of ours has a big heart - he brings me such joy and I'm lucky to have him in my life.

  ~ Day 13 :: Ask for help.  Someone else washed and dried the laundry for me!  It's not folded, but it's a start!

  ~ Day 14 :: Make one corner just right.  Does stacking the load of firewood that was dumped on our sidewalk this morning count as making one corner just right?  When I saw this challenge, my eyes and mind started picturing the transformation that could take place with just 10 minutes of uninterrupted effort...the island in our kitchen...the top of our sideboard that holds some of our homeschool supplies, as well as a dwarf Christmas scene...my dresser in my bedroom...over by the printer.  And then my reverie was interrupted by the phone call saying the firewood could come today.  Three hours later, I have three lovely stacks of wood in my backyard and the sidewalk is now clutter-free.  So, in my books, stacking firewood does count.

I'm hoping you're settling in to the holiday spirit this week, friends!

Crafting up a storm

Making something with our hands is a daily occurrence around here, even if it wasn't 13 days before Christmas.  In fact, as I look around the living and dining areas, I'd be inclined to say crafting happens multiple times during our days.  Here are just a snippet of what we've been up to...

Painting with watercolours

Sewing with supervision

Making a gift for nature with bread, peanut butter and sunflower seeds

Rolling candles from beeswax sheets

Hanging a star each day until Christmas

A freezer-paper stencil work-in-progress

One of these nutcrackers will turn into a prince, but we don't know which one, so they all need a crown made of modelling clay

Paper snowflakes with Nature Club

A crocheted star for the one in our lives who shares his light through his optimism - see here for the pattern

A felted Christmas tree - because a wee bit more greenery is nice!

About hugs

I'm pondering how something as simple as a hug can be so complex.  It can offer comfort or it can be given with a broken heart.  It can be shared in jubilation or it can signal the end of the day and sweet dreams for the night.

When I first saw the From Hectic to Harmonious day 8 challenge in the morning - share cuddles - I was pretty sure I would have many opportunities before lunch had been placed on the table a mere few hours later.  After all, I have two very cuddly little ones who seem to be magnetically drawn to my lap.  One is usually sitting on me for our circle time, the other will curl up with me for a book.  One will cuddle with me as we create homemade wrapping paper and the other will sense when I need a hug and beam her smiling face up at me as she wraps her arms around my waist.  Plus, as coincidence would have it, our Christmas countdown activity in the evening was to huddle up around the fire and read Christmas stories while munching on popcorn.  We had this challenge in the bag, without even trying.

But then I thought, what about that oldest one of mine?  The one who will (politely) decline a hug or an arm wrapped around his shoulders out in public.  The one who is growing into himself and prefers things kept at arms-length, most of the time.  The exceptions make me thankful for homeschooling and the opportunity to be present when the desire for a hug arises.  For I must say that I've noticed more hugs post-public school.  And I see the innocence and wonder in his eyes, and his passion and love for life when we do get moments of closeness.  He seems happy and at ease.  He can let his guard down.

As it turned out, Nicholas and I didn't have a cuddle that morning.  We did huddle up close to the fire in the evening and we had our ritual good-night hug.  But it felt that even though we didn't actually physically touch in the morning, we shared a closeness and a bonding as we worked together to create a story based on several pictures he drew and inspired by the ideas he'd read about in The Book of Fairy Princes.

Here is his story:

THE STORY OF

THE FOREST OF BEAUTIFUL COLOURS

 

Once upon a time in a very, very colourful forest there was a great wise owl and a colourful oak tree with leaves of blue, green, pink, purple, orange, yellow, red and brown.  And that great oak tree stood in the middle of a castle’s courtyard guarded by a very, very wise owl.  But there was a demon up in the skies above that didn’t like the sight so one day he decided to go down to the forest of beautiful colours and he would try and burn it down or destroy it in some way.

So, when he went down, he said, “Hey, mister owl.  I saw a sick tree about two miles west.  I think it’s your job to fix it.  But, are you able to fix it?”

And the owl said, “Yes, I’m the guardian of this forest.  So off he went as quick as the wind could go.

Once he was gone, the demon, who knew that there was only one way to defeat this forest, and it was to burn down the great oak tree.  So he burnt down the great oak tree, and the fire spread so much that it burnt down almost the whole forest.  Only the drooping firs were able to survive.  And there were only two colours of this drooping fir – green and brown.

When the great wise owl got to about two miles to the west, he found no sick trees and all of his trees were shining.  Then, all of a sudden, all the trees stopped shining their beautiful colour and they turned into dull reds, blues, browns, pinks, purples and all the other colours.  So the great wise owl knew something was wrong when he saw that.  When he looked behind him, he saw a great fire raging.  So, he quickly acted, for he knew what the demon had done.  He collected all of the animals that knew him and lived closest to the water to tell him where the yellow part of the water lives.  All the animals said,  “there is only one lake, and it only has yellow water in the centre of the lake.”

The owl flew as quick as the wind to the lake and the lake’s name was The Lake of Colourful Treasures.  He flew over to that lake and he took a big mouthful of the yellow part of the water.  He flew back to the great oak tree and he sprinkled the water on the raging fire on the great oak tree.  Once this was done, the fire ceased all over.  And because the owl was mad with the demon, he decided he would put up a magical barrier using his magical powers.  But the only magical powers he had were to save this great colourful forest. 

So, he sat in the east side of the tower being very sad and letting his sorrow sweep away from him.  When he was done being sad, he went to the west tower and he collected all of his seeds that he had collected from the different coloured trees and he planted them where all the other dead trees were.  The only trees that were remaining were the brown drooping fir and the green drooping fir. 

Once he was done planting, he asked all the trees if they would let him know when the demon came back so that during that time, he could prepare a spell to protect the forest.  So, all the trees agreed.  But while he was preparing, he was also researching a way to make a red drooping fir, a blue drooping fir, and an orange drooping fir, pink drooping fir, purple drooping fir and yellow drooping fir – the most important of all the colours.  When he was done, he was able to make one of each colour fir but just to make sure that the demon didn’t come in, he decided to stay watch on the great oak tree.  But after the fire everyone called it the great dead oak tree.  And you may be wondering how the great wise owl was able to make a spell to keep the demon out.  All he did was he put a yellow fir on each point of the forest – north, east, south, and west.  Nowadays, if you go to the forest, you will see him perched on the great dead oak tree.  But now, for the rest of the story.

Once he fixed all the damage of the fire, he sat upon the great dead oak tree all the time because of all the trees, it was his favorite.  As a sign of respect and friendship, he sat on it to watch over the forest all of the time. 

 

But now the demon, he saw that the owl was smart and he fixed it.  And he saw that he could not get in and destroy it.  But he saw all the other forests around it and he thought, "What if I light a fire in each of the forests, north, east, south and west?"  So, he researched as well.  And he found out that the magical barrier could not let him in, but other forest fires could get in.  So, he decided he would go light a fire in each of the four forests.  He went over and he lit a fire in the forest of the north.  Then he went down and did the forest of the east.  Then he went down and did the forest of the south.  Then he went west and did the forest of the west.  But then he thought, “ Uh oh, how will I get out?”

He decided to fly north.  But the fire was too big for him to get back up to the sky.  So he went back to the west where it was just a small fire.  But he couldn’t get back up to the sky because his sky was in the east.  He went to the south but the fire was too big so he could not make his way back to the east (which is where he came from). 

So, the demon was stuck in the fires, and the fires were getting too big.  So he thought, “all I can do is trust my luck.” He flew through the southern fire and it burned his wings.  So he ran to the east side, but it burned his feet.  So then, he had to crawl.  But when he was crawling, he wasn’t fast enough.  The fire swallowed him up, and that was the last that was seen of the demon.

But the great wise owl saw all of the fires coming.  He acted quickly.  He went over to the lake of colourful treasures (in the centre of the forest) and he took four big mouthfuls of the yellow water in the center.  And he flew  as quick as the wind to each of the four points of the forest.  He got to the north point and sprinkled some water on the yellow drooping fir.  When he got to the east point, he sprinkled some water on the eastern yellow drooping fir.  When he got to the southern point, he sprinkled some water on the yellow drooping fir down there.  When he got to the western point, he looked and he saw not even a fire at all.  It had all burned out in the western point.  What he decided to do with his last mouthful was:  to sprinkle water on each of the other trees, for some animals did not want to live by lakes and then they could live in other places in the forest.

So, it stayed nice and peaceful, with animals eating dewdrops from the trees for quite a while.  But soon it was winter.  So the animals came to the great dead oak tree and said, “What will we eat now, for it is winter.” 

And the owl said, “Once a snowflake falls on the very peak of each tree, it will turn into a larger, bright-coloured snowflake.  But, after that, all the other snowflakes will turn into brightly coloured snowflakes that you can eat, though you may not to eat them because they look so beautiful.  But that is what you will eat in winter.”

So, they found that almost every tree had a brightly coloured snowflake, though a lot of people would mistake them for a star on top.  They looked down lower and saw lots of colourful snowflakes and they just stood there looking at them.  But one of the animals’ stomachs grumbled at them.  They knew they would starve if they just stood looking at them.  They went over and ate just a single snowflake and then they didn’t need to eat any more snowflakes, for a sudden burst of energy filled them, and they were full after the single snowflake.

So, then it came to the new year’s and the bright stars on the tops of the trees disappeared.  So they all went to the great owl and asked, “What will we do, for all of the stars at the tops of the trees have went away?”

And he said,  "Well, it is still winter, and the snowflakes will not be bright and shining, but they will still be the colour of yellow and you will still be able to eat them until spring.  In spring, you will eat dewdrops again.”

So all of the animals went back to the trees and ate a single snowflake.  And their bodies burst with energy and fullness so that they didn’t need to eat anymore.  So then the animals knew about what they needed to eat and when and they didn’t need to ask the wise owl any more questions.

So, now whenever you go out into the forest of beautiful colours, if you see a brown tree , after that tree you will see a path.  And that path will lead you directly to the wise owl.  You should only go to see the great wise owl when you need help from him. 

I think I’ve forgotten to mention, but there are four different trees in this forest of beautiful colours.  There is the drooping fir, the soldier pine, the house spruce and the tower spruce, also known as the church spruce.  There are some other reasons you might want to go and see the great wise owl, for he is a very good poet and he does excellent poetry.  So you may want to go to see him to learn some of his poetry. 

Here is a poem I learned from the great wise owl:

 

A forest fire -

An unpleasant one,

Disturbing the humble one,

 

But when it’s gone -

And there are few trees,

It’s time for me to plant the seeds.

 

My great oak tree is gone – alas,

It has also lost its giant mass,

On top of it I will perch,

Very sad and very hurt.

All the animals will come to me –

They are sad and have no glee,

They come to me and they say: 

“What do we eat?

For we cannot have the thing called meat!”

 

And I say:  “Look at the trees –

What do you see?”

We see snow: he, he, he.

Try the snow and you’ll see,

That the snow is good to eat.

From Hectic to Harmonious...days 4, 5, 6 and 7 and other delights

Alright!  I'm feeling like we're moving quite smoothly now.  There's been time for the elves to be working hard, time for magic-making, time for walks through the park with dinosaur personas fully donned, time for feeling cozy on the couch and whipping up a last-minute gift.  We're caught up with the activities on our Christmas countdown calendar (thanks, kids, for being so forgiving when our day goes a bit sideways and we agree to do the activity the next day).  Oh, and we've been keeping up with our homeschooling too.  It hasn't felt hectic.  It's felt more like a productive buzz.

And despite what appears to be me abandoning the From Hectic to Harmonious challenge after day 3, I'm happy to report I've preservered.  And I didn't squeeze days 4 through 7 into one crazy day either.  We've been taking it one day at a time and being somewhat mindful of the spirit of the season.

Days 4 and 5 related to the art of storytelling - the former being a telling of a favorite Christmas story, and the latter being the sharing of memories of our Christmases past.  As I was helping Astrin put together a few thoughts for her letter for Santa, it occurred to me that she likely hadn't the foggiest idea who Santa was.  We haven't made a trip to see Santa at the mall part of our holiday traditions, and she's too young to remember such a visit even if we faithfully did make a trip.  So out came the story 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, which describes the "plump jolly old elf" so eloquently.  We spend an evening around the supper table sharing little snippets of our favorite memories...mine being the drive to my grandparents (which meant stopping at a restaurant for lunch - a novelty in those days), my husband worrying about Santa not knowing where to deliver his presents while he was away from home, the year the Christmas tree came crashing down in our living room during the wee hours of Christmas morning, the year Boomer (our dog) was a puppy and tried to eat the glass Christmas ornaments...what a heart-warming walk down memory lane we had!

Day 6 was finding an anchor...something to reach for when things happen to get too crazy.  The idea is that this anchor will help me center myself and allow me to see what is happening around or inside me with a clear perspective.  I've chosen a cup of tea...preferably the "Calming" one made by Yogi Teas, but really...beggars can't be choosers when things get a bit hairy.

Last but not least is Day 7 - today.  And today was also easy.  We ate our supper by candlelight.  The intent was to bring a peacefulness and mindfulness to the meal.  I don't know if I will have a truly peaceful meal again while children live in this house, but it was nice to see the candles flickering against the backdrop of a dark, cold winter's night.

So, thank you From Hectic to Harmonious...it appears that your magic is starting to work!   

From Hectic to Harmonious...Day 3. And Nature Club too.

Today Mama was on a mission.  I'm in a bit of a race against the clock and when the clock strikes zero, gifts for out-of-town relatives need to be in the mail.  Today's project to start and finish was dying play silks.  We worked on yellow ones dyed with turmeric yesterday and they look fabulous - bright and bold.  Today I tried using Kool-Aid mix as the dye and the colours are soft and gentle.  We came home from supper tonight and were greeted by the strange scent of Kool-Aid infused vinegar.  I must admit, I'm feeling a little nauseous.  There are great instructions for dying play silks with Koo-Aid here.

Indeed, the pulse in our household had a "mission" vibe to it.  In a good way.  In a working with purpose kind of way.  There were homemade snacks to make for the birds.  There was an art class to be had at my kitchen table (our instructor today was Jaelyn, who tried out what I imagine wet-on-wet watercolour painting is.  Self-taught, that one).  There were books to be read and letters to write to Santa.  There were freezer-paper stenciled shirts to be painted too.

Somewhat ironically, today's From Hectic to Harmonious challenge was to remove three things from my to-do list.  Note that says remove things, not do them and scratch them off.  It's about prioritizing and letting go of the stuff that doesn't matter.

Today's challenge is tough for me.  I think I've already made great strides to make this year's holiday a little simpler than last year's.   The number of handmades is down, and what I have made was simpler to make in the first place.  There won't be a lot of Christmas baking going on here, and the holiday countdown garland hanging in our living room feels more like a way to be intentional about the activities we want to share with our children and prioritizing time to do them.  So while the garland is new, the activities in it would happen anyway with or without the garland to guide us as to when they happen.

So, after much pondering, scratching my head and furrowing my brow, here is what I've come up with:

  ~ I will turn off Facebook until December 28
  ~ I will keep the computer games turned off too, until December 28
  ~ I will only have one errand morning or afternoon a week.  All of us will need to be super-resourceful if there is some "gotta have" thing.  If something is needed right now, it will need to be found within the four walls of this house.  While I would love for this to apply to everything, I will be practical and reasonable...if we need milk because for some mysterious reason there is none left in the fridge, we'll go get milk.  But I'm not running out at 10:00 pm to get something like, say, glitter.
  ~ I will, without guilt, buy premade stuff if I need to.  The holidays will still be wonderful if we buy premade pie crusts instead of the ones from scratch.  Or if the whole pie is premade. 

And I'm pleased to report I've already had success in purging things from my to-do list.  I was planning to make snow crystals inside today with Nature Club.  This would have required me to pick up dry ice and Styrofoam containers, as well as get the experiment set up and, optimally, test it out.  But with most of our evenings full of other goodness, which I wouldn't trade for a second, I pulled the plug on making snow crystals.  Instead, we read the book, The Story of Snow and made snowflake cutouts from last year's left over printouts.

I knew there would be little nuggets of success scattered throughout this holiday challenge!

From Hectic to Harmonious...Day 2

Well, today was definitely more hectic than harmonious.  It was harmonious enough, with kids happily reading, playing at our homeschool co-op and not putting up too much of a fuss as we tidied up before supper.  But I know I am not in a harmonious state of mind.  I'm finding my mind is working overtime when my head hits the pillow.  It's reorganizing and reprioritizing my to-do list...over and over and over again.  Which makes for a late, late night and a late, late morning before I get moving.  Our routine gets off, and then my morale plummets.  It's not looking like those ideals I wrote about yesterday, does it?

Still, I'm going to keep the faith that things will get better.  After all, we're only two days into the challenge and there are twenty-six left to go.  I will learn something during that time, won't I?  I will take some actions to change what's driving today's insanity, won't I?  I can resolutely say yes...I'm committed to what I want our holiday season to look and feel like.  I know I won't be perfect every day and that there will be slips here and there.  But we will grow and adjust and learn as we go.  Simplifying is a process and not an end state, is it not?

So, today's challenge is to think of how I want my children to experience the holidays.  Oh, I want so very much for them!  I want them to feel deep down in their hearts the magic of the holidays...that even if it is only for one short moment, all can be good and right in the world.  I want their eyes to widen in wonder as they ponder some of the mysteries of life...mysteries that perhaps need no explanation but simple acknowledgement.  I want their hearts to feel full of the goodness and light that they send out into the world.  I want them to feel smooth transitions throughout their days and weeks...that their days have flow and that it feels more like a graceful dance than a race.  I want them to experience the joy of giving and the graciousness of receiving.  I want them to be thankful for all they have...all the love that surrounds them, nourishment that sustains them, and material comforts that enrich their lives.  I want something in our holiday traditions, new or old, to resonate with them so much that they feel inclined to share it with the families that they raise of their own.

I guess I want them to be able to look back on their Christmases with fondness, knowing that they had experiences that fed their hearts and souls and that they will walk into the new year with a full cup.

Hectic to Harmonious...Day 1

A few weeks ago I thought it was a good idea to sign up for Nourished Home's 28-Day From Hectic to Harmonious Challenge.  I confess...there is a part of me that dreads - truly dreads - the Christmas holiday season.  I dread the loss of our rhythm or routine and how ungrounded that leaves us feeling.  I dread the day-after-day time away from our home, and little space for a breather in-between.  I dread the late nights preparing for the next day, sometimes admittedly due to my own procrastination, poor planning, or overly ambitious plans.

When I start feeling this way, I do try to put a positive spin on things.  I'm delighted that there are so many people who invite us to be in their company.  I smile when I see my little ones playing games with their cousins and reminisce of my own childhood Christmases.  I enjoy taking my time to make gifts for my loved ones so that they can linger lovingly in my thoughts a wee bit longer.

Still, I'm looking forward to a few "aha" moments where perhaps I remove my utopian ideals or come to the realization that really difficult decisions need to be made.  For now, I consider day one of the challenge - how do I want to feel this holiday season.

I want to find a balance between the excitement and anticipation of the holiday season and the opportunity for meaningful and thoughtful introspection.  I want meaningful connection with friends and family.  I want our days to be peaceful and relaxed - I want to be aglow with a serene energy rather than radiating a jittery, anxious energy.  I want to live in and experience the moment, rather than having my thoughts drift towards the to-do list.  I want to spend more time with my family than running errands.  I want our family to consider and live the spirit of the season.

What do you want your holiday season to look like?

Rhythm revisited

We went through a funk a couple of weeks ago where my body refused to leave the house.  I'm serious.  Gloomy skies hung down over us, the temperature dropped, and I couldn't get myself out the door.  Knitting, toes tucked into wool socks and slippers, hot tea, and a warm fire were all I wanted.  Fresh air seemed overrated.

Yet all of us staying inside and only leaving our comfy abode to run urgent errands is a recipe for stir-craziness.  Thankfully my little ones will go outside on their own and they will, for the most part, get along with one another.  But I think I noticed that too much indoor time for mama led to my own restlessness and discontent growing.  Falling out of our daily and weekly rhythm left me feeling unanchored and like life was slightly spiraling out of control.

At the same time, we had finished up our unit on the human body.  All of the (Canadian) Thanksgiving, Samhain, Hallowe'en, and Martinmas festivals were behind us.  We now had an empty void of time that we weren't accustomed to.  And, I'm coming to terms with my littlest one being a non-napper and quieter afternoons for planning and prepwork (or knitting) being a thing of the past. 

So, I find myself in the midst of transition.  Of discovering that it feels like too much effort to get outside twice before lunch...once all the socks are found, the snowsuits are donned and the winter boots are laced up.  Of realizing that we won't be able to do that deep dive into the world of birds without a lengthy pause as we prepare for and celebrate Christmas and that we should postpone that to the new year and do something lighter and less intense instead.  Of finding my evening hours getting longer and longer with planning for the days and weeks ahead and striving to keep my head above water.

All this means that that lovely rhythm we had created in September and tried hard to follow through on in October is begging for a tweak here and there.  It means I'll need to be aware of the impact the physical change of seasons in this part of the world has on our days, instead of insisting that winter doesn't start until December 21!  It means I'll need to do a better job next year of building a skeleton for our whole year in advance so that I'm not surprised by this two or three week space I find myself now in.

I'm now willing myself to step outside again once a day.  We usually get out in the morning, after we've finished our formal bookwork.  And it's usually not as cold as I expect it will be.  We're spending the next few weeks in a unit about snow, as I come to terms with the white stuff being around for the next five months or so, as we bring our awareness to the changes happening in nature around us.  I'm now setting aside one afternoon a week to bake with Astrin.  I'm also trying to spend a wee bit of time in the afternoons, while the children read, working a row or two of what happens to find itself on my knitting needles.  I'm trying to get myself to bed a little earlier at night so I don't feel like the walking dead the next day.  It feels like I'm trying to regain what I lost by letting my own rhythm slide.  I know it's a good thing.

When the holidays are over and I find myself juggling less, I'll look a little more closely at our rhythm and whether it is still working for us or if it needs more of an overhaul.  Do we need to have a set day of the week for baking, making soup, doing laundry, painting, modeling, and whatever else?  How does this work when external factors seem to put flux into a predetermined schedule before the ink has even dried on the page?  Is it that I need to be more diligent or discerning about the things I allow to change our rhythm?  Is it just that I need to relax and go with the flow a bit more?  Have I thoroughly observed and thought about how my children react to changes in our daily and weekly rhythms?

Hmmm...it seems that while I have lots to think when New Year's approaches, I have a pretty good idea of one of the themes that may show up in my resolutions!

Catching up

My, I've been quiet in this space for the last week or two.  It's funny how I think that longer stretches of a slower pace are just on the other side of the figurative hill we've been climbing, but we never quite make it over the crest.  From tracking down skates or other miscellaneous gear, to planning games, crafts, and festivals for us to celebrate, not to mention the holiday season that is in my peripheral vision, it feels like the moments for quiet introspection are short and I prefer to spend them alone rather than in front of my computer.  I'm feeling the side of my brain that does all the list-making and organizing needs to be working in full-gear, while the side that spins a story and tries to see the interconnectedness and lessons in it all is asked to sit this one out.  I'm feeling the itch to be making tangible things with my hands rather than writing words into cyberspace.  A row or two of knitting or a snip or two of scissors on fabric is my chance to catch my breath before we start it all again the next day.

I'm at least happy to say that the last several weeks have been good ones...crafting beautiful things, enjoying the beauty of an evening lantern walk with friends and family, celebrating our wrap up of our human body unit with a field trip to the science centre, story telling, singing and smiling together, tailoring our "schoolwork" time so it really doesn't feel like schoolwork at all...good stuff.  And those moments of pause are spent sipping my favorite tea and knitting in front of the fire.  Or holding my breath as I take a knitted creation and plunge it into hot soapy water all the while hoping I have the intuition to stop felting it before it's too late.  Or thinking out whether that Christmas countdown calendar will really be started or finished this year, before brushing those thoughts aside and considering instead the creative possibilities we could explore together.

Yes, a pause in this space is necessary when I feel like I'm writing because I have to, not because I want to.  It's easy not to bring your best when it feels like you're just going through the motions and don't really have your heart behind it.  It could easily turn into a laundry list of what the day looked like rather than a place to think through why we do what we do, what we could do better, what might inspire or prove useful to others, and to remember the things that were awesome and beautiful in our days.

So, till next time...whenever that may be...

Remember this later!

We've been riding a cloud of bliss over the last week and a half.  What does bliss look like?  It's children actively engaged in the work they've selected for themselves - making jewellery, identifying birds, baking together with play dough, climbing trees, playing games, noticing the hue of the clouds at dusk.  It's children who give some of their time and their talent to helping others.  It's sweet cherub faces that greet the day, happy smiles as we move through our family's loose semblance of rhythm, and lingering hugs as we tuck the last little one into bed.

 

 

Why do I write this today?  Because there were days before today that were not blissful.  I'm quite sure there will be days after today that will feel dull and grey.  But holding on to these pictures of bliss...these pictures that clearly illustrate the benefits of homeschooling...these pictures that remind us on the bad days of why we choose to do what we do...they can help pull us through the trough so we can ride the next wave of bliss.  I write about it so that I have tangible proof to look back on in a moment of frustration or self-doubt.  I write about it so that I can feel more confident that we are, at times, living that ambitious overarching philosophy neatly typed once upon a time in a written education plan for the school board.  I write about it, hopeful that in several years' time a pattern will emerge that shows the scales have tipped to many more days of bliss than days of marginally getting by.  That we've found our groove.  That we've hit our stride.  That we "get it".

Maybe there are too many variables that will crop up that we are not agile enough to overcome when it comes to living our philosophy every day.  That little thing called puberty might throw a mighty curve ball.  Relationships may change.  Maybe the children will simply want to go back to school.  For now though, knowing a long winter is making its way south to our little prairie city, it helps to look on the bright side and know that bliss can happen here.  We've seen it.  It felt brilliant.

Almost ready to inhale

That light at the end of the tunnel that was so dim and distant is getting closer now.  The season of being outside and active and busy with the good things of life is coming to an end - I can feel it now.  The last of the summer's fruit is ripening in boxes and is awaiting its next transformation into chutney and sauce and just plain canned fruit. 

All those green tomatoes we picked in a frenzy before the first frost are turning a beautiful hue of red and making their way into passata, pasta sauce and maybe even a tomato leather. 

The last football game of the year was played by my oldest, and we witnessed the evolution of a bunch of individuals into a cohesive unit fueled by camaraderie and a common goal. 

I can feel that soon it will be time to return within, refuel, and settle in to quieter times.  Time for contemplation and dreaming...time for holding those little ones close for just a wee bit longer...time to inhale and renew for the next trip around the sun.  Days will still be full, but I'm optimistic that the number of things that will require my attention simultaneously will be fewer.

Yes, there still is plenty to do...gardens to be cleaned up, winter clothes to be retrieved while shorts are quietly tucked away until next summer, a general all-around cleanup of the things that have been pushed to the side while we tend to more immediate needs.  But I can feel, perhaps out of hope, that the pace of life will be less frenetic.  I wonder if my children will feel it too, that final "ahhh" of the summer and the beginnings of the first in-breath of autumn.  That will be something to tune my senses into and chat about over a warm bowl of chili.  We talk much about the physical things that change around us as the seasons change, but do they feel it in their bones?  In their soul?  Yes, my curiosity is piqued.  I look forward to seeing what comes of that conversation in the days and years ahead.

That toddler of mine!

I remember lamenting about what to do with that busy toddler of mine who wanted to tear the house apart or run around screeching while I was trying to work with my older children.  And while I haven't completely solved that problem (yesterday comes to mind), I have tried to put together a few activities for Astrin that are quiet, stimulating, and hands on.  Without further ado, let's go on a tour of what Astrin's mornings look like.

Once everyone is ready to face the day - breakfast eaten, teeth brushed, "outside" clothes on in place of pajamas - the three children go for a walk around the block.  This gives me time to clean up the kitchen table and prepare for the lessons ahead.  I've found mornings tend to go better with a morning walk - everyone has felt the breeze on their face, breathed in fresh air, and said hello to the sun, birds, and insects that they spot and are ready to embrace the morning's learning. 

Astrin and I then do what I'm calling circle time.  I have no idea what Waldorf purists would think of our circle time, but it works for us.  We sing a greeting song, which I recall my grandmother singing to us as we rose in the morning, followed by a few songs about the body and a couple more about numbers.  We cuddle up for a story, then Astrin has time on her own while I move my attention to the older children.

Astrin often chooses what she would like to do during her "free" time.  Today she chose to read books.  The other day she chose to sit at the table and sort the items in our nature basket.  I brought out a cupcake pan and she carefully sorted shells, pinecones, rocks, and other items.  She has also used the same cupcake pan to sort beads by colour.

I also created a rice bin for Astrin to play with, upon the advice of another homeschooling mama.  It's a pretty simple bin, with cups for pouring, spoons for measuring, and sticks for stirring.  When I first brought it out to play with, I told her the rice was to stay in the bin - if rice was thrown then the bin would be put away until another day.  Some spills are expected, and in that case, she has her broom and dustpan for sweeping up the mess.  While she doesn't sweep up every grain that falls, I'm trying to encourage her to clean up after herself.  I must admit this activity has required quite the leap of faith on my part, but we have yet to cut time with the rice bin short!

Quite a few years ago, Nicholas was given a hammer-tic set.  It consists of corkboard, a small wooden hammer, various wooden shapes with small holes in them and tacks.  The wooden shapes are attached to the corkboard with the tacks and hammer.  It turns out that Astrin enjoys this toy!  I do need to supervise her, though, because of the small pieces.

Other toys that we have available to Astrin include wooden puzzles, Lego, and dinosaurs.  She has paper for colouring, cutting and pasting at her disposal, as well as some nature-themed colouring pages I printed off.  And did I mention the books of all shapes, sizes, and topics?  She is a bookworm in the purest sense of the word, though she has yet to read a word.

I have plans for making additional activities and materials for her in the winter months.  Teaching Montessori in the Home:  The Pre-school Years is a great resource for age-appropriate activities for younger children.  Stay tuned!

What do you do to keep the harmony with your toddler while working with your older children?